This week I had the pleasure of working with Nancy (names changed to protect confidentiality), a very special, very motivated client who not only paid for me to help her at my out of town rate, but also brought in a friend, Betty, who does some organizing on the side. I was once again reminded of the power of women working together with a common goal.

In this case the organizer, Betty, and I were completely committed to helping Nancy clear her space of clutter and organize what remained. Nancy has been going through some very difficult life challenges in the past three years–a divorce and caregiving aging parents. I suspect our empathy for her current exhausting life circumstances as well as our desire to help set her up to be able to reclaim her own life once her parents have passed on, fueled our efforts. Betty and I had just met that day, but we worked together like partners united with a common cause. It was an incredible feeling to be in the middle of that tornado of positive energy.

By the end of the day we had covered a lot of ground very quickly. We reorganized her dining room/home office which included setting up a filing system, moving a shelf that was blocking a hallway, and reorganizing parts of the garage. I was astounded and impressed with what we accomplished and how well we worked together! And, best of all, during the five hours we labored Nancy transformed from being tense, anxious and uptight to being playful with a relaxed, relieved smile on her face. Women helping women! It is powerful and magical!

It’s long been a source of conversation that men hate to ask for directions. We joke about it, but it’s really true! The bigger truth is that men hate to ask for help. I think they are programed that way from childhood. They are taught not to cry, not to be a wimp, not to need any help.

When men are married to women who need some help because they have more on their plate than they can sanely manage, the male mantra of “I’m not paying to have someone do something we can do ourselves!” can become a relationship issue.

The reality is that women are typically the CEOs of their homes. They make sure that there is food in the house, meals are prepared, laundry is done, the house is clean, the interior and exterior of the home are organized and maintained, social events are planned, not to mention that they coordinate the hundreds of activities that are involved with child rearing. In many cases women are doing all that AND working a full time job.

Is it any wonder that sometimes they have difficulty keeping their house organized and clutter free? And, there are women who on top of all those responsibilities have the added challenge of a condition like ADD or depression, neurological problems that make getting and staying organized extremely difficult. In our increasingly complex world there are very legitimate reasons that women need to hire outside help to get and stay organized.

Unfortunately not all women who want to get the help of a professional organizer get the blessing of their husband. I know this happens because I get inquiries from overwhelmed women wanting to know about my services and what I charge. When we end a phone conversation with, “I’ll have to talk to my husband about this,” I rarely hear from them again. In some cases I actually get hired and while we work a woman will tell me, “My husband just doesn’t understand why I need to hire someone to do this. He thinks I should be able to do this myself.” How sad! One client with seven children was so desperate to get help to make her house presentable for a graduation celebration that she hired me, swore her children to secrecy and never told her husband she’d hired me.

When women get the help they need they are less stressed, happier and make better wives and mothers. Why would any man not want that for his wife? My wish is that every man would take a look at his mental programming, those myths that he carries about how needing help from others makes him less of a man, and transform his belief into, “Everyone needs help sometimes. Getting help actually will make all our lives better.”

“I can do this myself. Why should I pay someone else to do what I am capable of doing?”

You may be capable of doing that task, but are you getting it done? It’s very common for people to avoid tasks they’re capable of doing because:

* they hate doing it;
* they have little or no confidence in their ability to do it well;
* they really don’t know how to do it, but think they should;
* they have problems getting started on tasks that really aren’t a good fit for their abilities.

I am a competent writer. I thought I should be able to whip out a press release to announce my new business, Simply Organized, back in 1998. After avoiding the task for several months, I finally hired Linda Barrett of All the Buzz, a marketing consultant, to draft the press release. Not only did the press release get done, but Linda urged me to write my first booklet, “Simply Organized: The Art of Conquering Clutter,” to offer as a free gift to anyone who contacted me to inquire about my business. That booklet was my first product and has been a money-making product for me ever since. I paid the consultant for the press release, but I got so much more.

When I took that important first step to get help I learned several important things:

* I can save a lot of time and make more money if I work in my area of strength and pay others to do tasks that are not in my area of strength;

* I can get important tasks done that move my business forward faster when I outsource tasks that I cannot do, cannot do well, or have no desire doing at all;

* I usually end up with a result that is exponentially better than I could ever do myself; and

* in the process of getting help I develop relationships with some incredible people.

I also firmly believe we are all connected and have the opportunity to work together for a greater good. Why pass that up?

Get the help you need so you can make a bigger difference!

Collaboration rules!

© 2012 Clutter Clearing Community | Debbie Bowie

“Author, Organizing Expert and Feng Shui Practitioner, Debbie Bowie, is a leading authority on clutter clearing to attract more of what you want in life. If you’re ready to clear clutter and move your life forward, get your FREE TIP SHEET, “Feng Shui Tips for Instant Success” at http://www.clutterclearingcommunity.com.

I finally gave in and got a coach. What took me so long? I didn’t think I could afford to do it! Scarcity mentality? You bet!

I’d heard successful speakers say that getting a coach was essential to getting them where they’d gotten. I knew I really needed one. I was working so hard, but was I using my time, money and energy wisely? No!

When I spoke to Elizabeth Hayden, a fellow professional organizer and professional speaker, I learned that she was getting coaching from Mark LeBlanc. I knew Mark. In fact, I attended his Achiever’s Circle, a weekend business development retreat, in 2008. After that experience I really wanted to get coaching with Mark. But, I still believed there was no way I could afford it. When I learned that Elizabeth was getting coaching from him, my desire got stronger. Still, I took no action.

Several months ago I got an email from Dianne Morr, an editor I had met in Mark’s Achiever’s Circle. She told me how much she enjoyed my bi-monthly new tips. And, she just happened to mention that she’d been getting coaching from Mark.

Now, that got my attention! I thought, “If Dianne can afford it, I should be able to afford it.” I’ve learned when I hear something twice it’s the Universe’s way of nudging me to take action. First Elizabeth, then Dianne. I got the message and made the call. Guess what? Mark has a special coaching program just for his Achiever’s Choice participants! And, I could afford it!

In the first hour of coaching with Mark, he helped me set a financial goal for my business, clarify my speech topic and target market (something I’d been wrestling with for about two years), and got me to commit to writing a book in 90 days. As a result of that one hour, I am clear about my key message and better able to sell what I do. I have raised my rates and am bringing in enough additional revenue per month to more than pay for my coaching. And, I just sent a rough draft of my book off to my editor. Pretty amazing!

And, there’s more. Knowing that Mark, an incredible person, expert speaker and business coach, is walking beside me and believing in me as I build my speaking business has given me the courage to do things that I’ve needed to do but have avoided doing. Though I speak with him only once a month and email him occasionally, I feel his support all the time. That support has kept me more effectively focused and productive in the last two months than in the last two years. What a gift!

Want to move further faster? Get a good coach!