I love my life! I love almost everything I do. I love my work. I have a great marriage. I have a comfortable home. I have good friends. I enjoy learning new things all the time. I have three great furry children. I’ve made peace with all family members. And, when I really want something new, I can usually find a way to get it. What a big change from the days when I was working full time for a school system, counting the hours until I could go home to watch a taped soap opera!

When I think about how I came to be in this good place, I can definitely say it was not a straight line to get here. Each step along the way involved some challenge, some pain, and some learning. I think what made it possible for me to maneuver through all the obstacles to a more fulfilling and peaceful place was that I have been vigilant about maintaining an organized, comfortable home. The order I created and the hard work required to maintain it has grounded me through the tough times. When I run into a rough patch, my stuff is not part of the problem. I can focus on the current challenge, supported by the systems I have in place that help me maintain order even during the worst of times.

Do you love your life? If not, why not? What would you change? Start by clearing your clutter so you too can clear a path to a life that you love.

© 2012 Clutter Clearing Community | Debbie Bowie

“Author, Organizing Expert and Feng Shui Practitioner Debbie Bowie, is a leading authority on clutter clearing to attract more of what you want in your life. If you’re ready to finally clear the clutter from your life and move your life forward, get your FREE TIP SHEET, “Feng Shui Tips for Instant Success” at http://www.clutterclearingcommunity.com.

My guess is that most of us would rather not spend much time in a hospital, unless you’re a doctor or nurse and love what you do. Last June I spent a day and a half in St. Mary’s Hospital in Waterbury, CT, with my disabled brother Mark who was waiting for surgery to remove an infected knee implant. So, I had the chance to remember why I really like to avoid hospitals.

No matter how much effort goes into the decor, the cleaning, and the landscaping, it’s really hard to offset the effects of the negative energies that exist because hospitals are places with a problem focus. Illness is negative energy. Patients are scared–more negative energy. Family members are concerned–more negative energy. Doctors and nurses are typically overworked, at times doing work that involves risks to human life and dealing with some overwhelming and unpleasant situations. Whew! Lots of negative energy!

I found myself shifting into survival mode with my own energy so I endure this hospital experience. Here are some things I was doing:

• I looked for the good in every employee I encountered, even the nurse’s aide who wouldn’t make eye contact.
• I asked for what I needed or what Mark needed as our needs arose.
• I didn’t take personally employee behaviors that weren’t as pleasant, helpful or supportive as I would have liked.
• I stayed calm even when I felt scared or annoyed so I could be a grounding presence and bright light for Mark.
• I took lunch outside so I could shake off some of the negative energy I had absorbed.
• I remembered my life outside of the hospital and reminded myself that this experience was only temporary.
• I focused on how much I love Mark and remained detached even when he was grumpy and reactive.
• I appreciated the overall cleanliness of the building.
• I noted and felt grateful for every friendly person I encountered, from the person who made my salad at Subway to the receptionist who validated my parking ticket.
• I congratulated myself for my patience with Mark and the waiting despite my own fears about Mark’s situation.

I figured if I had to be there, if that was where I’d been led to make a difference, I was going to do whatever I could to counter the negative energies that I had no control over with positive energies I did have control over. I could control my thoughts and my attitudes, and manage my emotions and behaviors.

When you find yourself in situations where you are exposed to negative energies over which you have no control, remember that you can control your own sources of positive energy if you so choose. Here are some ideas.

1. Look for the good that does exist. Feel grateful for it. When you deliberately look for good, you will find it. When you focus on negatives, you’ll find it. Wouldn’t you rather have a steady diet of good energies? They will help you more effectively cope with the challenges.
2. Avoid reacting to others and taking their behaviors personally. Pia Mellody, author of Facing Codependence, once said that people’s reactions have more to do with them and their history than they do with you, unless you’ve been offensive. So, observe others and wonder about their behaviors, but know that what you’re getting from them could have absolutely nothing to do with you.
3. Stay in your own power by remaining calm even when others are not. “Shut your mouth and breathe,” is another of my favorite reminders from Pia Mellody. Doing that will help you stay grounded and avoid saying or doing anything you might regret later.
4. Ask for what you need from people who are capable of giving it to you. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Only you know what you need. And, it is empowering to respectfully make your needs known.
5. Don’t make requests of people who are incapable of responding appropriately to your requests. That’s a setup for disappointment and will only fuel your anger.

What would you add?

Everything is alive with energy. It therefore makes sense that every color is alive with energy and that there are differences in the energies of different colors. What I have learned is that I can strategically choose colors to wear on my person that empower me in whatever way I am wanting at a particular time. To be able to do this you first must know some basics about the energy of colors.

Red

• Is associated with the fire element
• Is the highest energy color, the energy associated with passion, intensity, excitement
• Is best used as an accent color when a pop of energy is needed
• Is associated with passion and intensity
• Must be used carefully because its heat can cause feelings of irritability, anger or aggression when used in abundance
• Can be used as an empowering color when worn in difficult situations
• Orange, pink, peach, and salmon are shades of red with yellow or white added. The bolder the shade, the more hotter the energy.

Green

• Is associated with the wood element
• Has an active energy of growth and expansion
• Is a great color to wear when you want to be productive
• Is an appealing color because it brings the feeling of the outdoors inside
• Makes red shades have even more energy

Blue

• Is associated with the wood element
• Has the energy of growth and expansion
• Has a cooling, calming, peaceful energy

Yellow

• Is associated with the earth element
• Has the energy of positive activity, optimism and joy
• Can feel hot in shades other than a buttery yellow

White

• Is associated with the metal element
• Has no active energy and can be associated with inflexibility
• Fire melts metal, so wearing a touch of red with white will balance the inflexibility of metal

Black

• Is associated with the water element
• Has no active energy
• Too much black can lead to being wishy washy
• Is best used as an accent, not the main course
• Cools off hot colors like shades of red (water douses fire)

Given those color basics, you can intentionally make color choices in your dress to create the kind of energy you want to have. Here are some suggestions.

1. Wear red when you want to be on fire, inspired to take positive action.
2. Wear red when you are going to face challenging people or situations.
3. Wear green when you want to be productive.
4. Wear blue when you want to keep a cool head or you want to have a calming influence on others.
5. Wear yellow when you want to have a positive influence on others or brighten up a grim situation.
6. Wear white when you want to be taken seriously in a formal situation.
7. Wear black when you want to wear red for protection or passion, but want to be able to stay balanced emotionally.

Feng shui teaches that everything is connected. The colors you wear affect you and those around you. Choose your colors carefully to feel fully empowered every day!

Not everyone is going to be thrilled for you when you begin making changes in your space and in your life. Family members in particular may say they want you to make positive changes, but when you actually do begin making changes, especially if those changes impact them in some way, watch out! Their unconscious impulse may be to want to maintain the status quo. Your changes may be viewed as threatening to their comfortable discomfort. And, if you begin asking for their help and their support, you may not get the reception you want. Instead you are likely to get resistance and judgement. Expect it! Then it won’t blow you sideways and distract you from your own path.

A lack of support on the home front doesn’t mean you shouldn’t proceed with your changes. It means that you need to look elsewhere for like-minded others who “get” what you are trying to accomplish. I call it “family of choice.” Look for others who are on a similar journey, who want the kinds of things you want. Just put that request out to the Universe, God, whatever Higher Power you believe in. Expect an answer. Watch for it. Soon you’ll find yourself running into like-minded others in the grocery store, at a meeting, on a committee, at a social event.

Over the last few years I have been committed to expanding my business and taking it to another level of influence and financial success. I was first drawn to an incredible sales training and marketing program that immediately opened doors to other small business owners on a similar journey. In addition, I connected with Laura Posey and Will Turner of Dancing Elephants, two incredible sales and marketing experts who are on their own journey to get the life they really want.

Then I joined the Virginia Chapter of the National Speakers Association and found many other kindred spirits. And, most recently I was invited by some of those NSA folks to be part of a law of attraction group for couples. Many of those new friends have become Facebook friends. What a thrill it is to share my successes with people who support me and cheer me on in my efforts to make a difference in our world! When I recently did my first TV interview (http://www.wtvr.com/videobeta/9b50a166-911b-4e79-993e-155a8921a56f/Community/Rock-Scissors-Paper-Institute) and posted it on Facebook I got so many shouts of, “You go, girl!” “Great job!”

So, if you want change but keep encountering resistance and criticism from the people in your inner circle, consider branching out to find kindred spirits to walk with on this journey. Look for people with a positive focus, those who encourage and celebrate strides you make in your personal growth. You deserve to have your own cheerleaders! Change is hard! You need the best support you can find!

If you are a busy mom, be sure to create a file or designate a basket as the container to hold papers about things you want to do just for you.

The role of mother is so consuming that many mothers have to put their own life and personal interests aside, at least until the children are in school, and often until they are out of the house. I’ve met dozens of incredible moms in my work as a professional organizer, many of whom have sacrificed careers, hobbies and activities that feed their spirits for the sake of their family. It seems there is just not enough time in a day to do all that is required to maintain a happy home and well-adjusted children and take time to follow their own passions.

There is a cost to pay for disregarding yourself, however noble the reason. Depression, weight gain, health issues and marital difficulties can all result when a woman spends a majority of her time caring for everyone but herself.

Starting a dream basket of events you want to attend, places you want to go (with other women or by yourself), classes you want to take or services that will nurture and spiritually feed you is a simple way to acknowledge your very normal needs for self-care. It will hold the energy of honoring yourself. And, it can be the bud of a decision to make yourself one of the priorities in your life.

Sometimes life throws you curve balls. . . For example, I spent two wonderful days with my brother, Mark, this past weekend. We planted a garden, enjoyed good food, saw the movie Marmaduke, shopped, took naps. Then Mark wakes up from his nap unable to put weight on his right leg.

Initially we thought he’d slept on it and it had gone to sleep. Or, perhaps he’d just been on it too long. He had a knee replacement over three years ago and the knee is a weak link. Last night I learned that he’d been hospitalized because he has an infection in his knee and will receive IV antibiotics.

What’s the big deal? Infection is always a scary thing. When he had his knee replacement he had multiple infections and the knee had to be replaced three times. It was quite an ordeal for him. And, he is alone in Connecticut. I had to return home to work. Our parents live in Virginia and Michigan and his brother is in Japan. Plus, Mark needs to work every day to be able to keep the apartment he moved into in December.

Yes, I’m feeling overwhelmed. I am Mark’s conservator. That means I am the person responsible for making decisions about his care. And, this is new to me. I’ve never had this kind of responsibility before.

The scared part of me is attempting to run some awful scenarios. “What if the infection is resistant to the antibiotics? What if he has to have surgery again because the joint is infected? What if he can’t keep his apartment?”

Fortunately another part of me keeps telling me to breathe deeply, to picture Mark healing quickly and returning to his apartment and to work. I keep focusing on all the blessings in my life–my loving, supportive husband who offers such wise counsel at times like this, my caring supportive friends who are praying for Mark, the beauty of my blooming butterfly bushes, my comfortable home, my affectionate kitty and pups, my faithful clients who keep me busy doing work I love. By keeping focused on the positive I am able to keep the fears under control, keep my vibration high and hopefully attract the wisdom I need to help Mark instead of those awful scenarios.

It’s really a challenge to stay positive at times like this when the scared little kid in me is trying to run the show. This is when it’s more important than ever for me to do things that ground me, like writing this blog entry, walking my dogs, making the bed, cleaning up after myself so our house stays a comfortable, peaceful haven.

I can’t do anything for Mark other than pray and ask others to pray, keep in touch with him and his doctors and nurses by phone, and picture him recovering quickly. But, I can keep my life in control so I am better able to think and make good decisions on his behalf.

The next time life throws you a curve ball that triggers fear and inertia, remember that keeping your thoughts positive and maintaining your space as a safe, organized haven can help you make it through whatever challenges you are facing.

“I’m just no good at organizing,” my client said as we worked together to organize her tiny home office. At that moment I bit my tongue, but I wanted to say, “If you keep saying that and believing that, you will continue to be no good at organizing!” What you say and what you believe have an incredible effect on what becomes reality.

In the case of this client, she prefers creative and intellectual pursuits, right brain activities, to left brain activities like achieving and maintaining order. Even so, her house is reasonably organized, especially given that she has three children under the age of twelve. Her perception of her organizing ability did not match the reality I saw in her home.

And, after thirteen years and working with hundreds of clients, I know that almost everyone can learn to be better organized if they commit themselves to the process. A former client, Michele, proved that to me. On our first appointment she actually vomited following an asthma attack caused by anxiety over parting with papers. She was chronically organized and had ADD. Her house was a wreck every time I worked with her.

One day after about a year of working together twice a month she greeted me with, “I had unexpected guests. The house was a wreck and you weren’t coming so I just thought about what you and I do every week and I was able to clean the place up by myself!” She was so excited about her victory! Michele went on to learn how to live with much less stuff, keep her home organized and become a professional organizer! If Michele could do it, anyone who really wants to can learn to get and stay organized!

“I bought those curtains for my bedroom, but they don’t fit the windows.” This is the kind of statement I often hear when I explore the contents of a shopping bag in a client’s home. And, I’m thinking, “Then, why is it still here?”

Have you ever purchased something that just didn’t work the way you wanted it to? Or, have you ordered a CD course that you were sure was going to change your life for the better, but discovered that the speaker’s voice was intolerable? We’ve all done something like that from time to time.

Once you realized that what you bought was a mistake, what did you do? Did you return it? Or, did you just leave it in your space, immobilized by the feelings of regret about your choice?

Things you’ve purchased that just didn’t work out for you have “mistake” energy, a particularly toxic type of negative energy comparable to the energy of something that is broken. Every time you come across “the mistake” you remember its history, its flaws and you reconnect with the feelings of regret, disappointment, and perhaps even judgment of yourself for making the mistake. And, it also communicates, “There’s something you need to do to fix this problem.” It irritates you because it’s not right and needs tending.

Imagine this. In your space you have a collection of shopping bags, bags that contain items purchased that you don’t want because they aren’t what you really want or don’t work right in your space. They radiate “mistake” energy. They may be buried under other things like piles of recycling or clothes that need to be donated to a charity. But, they are still there holding the energy of the mistake you made. Because the energy of those items is so negative, it drains your energy even when you are no longer conscious that those items are still there. Because mistake energy is particularly toxic, when you have even small quantities of it in your space you run the risk of absorbing that energy. When you do that you begin to feel like you are a mistake. Mistake energy erodes self-confidence.

So, when you make a purchase that is a mistake, return the item immediately. The sooner the better. Some people seem to need a period of time to beat themselves up for their error. Self-flagellation is never helpful and a total waste of energy. Others struggle to follow through with tasks that need to be done. Not following through on tasks that have a direct effect on your self-esteem is a form of self-abuse. Fix those mistakes quickly and view that action as a matter of life and death for your self-esteem. You are worth the effort!

When I’ve helped women clients clear out their closets, I’ve had the impression that what we really were doing was helping them take a close look at who they really were at that moment in time. Tackling their closet ALWAYS seemed to empower them.

It was as if when a woman’s clothes closet was a mess, she was totally out of touch with herself, her gifts, her wants and needs and her value. Once the closet was done, the woman would stand taller and give a great sigh of relief. Of course! She just got herself back! What a wonderful feeling!