“I want to get my life back.” When you hear that from a woman there are several reasons she might be longing to reclaim her own life. Wives and mothers get consumed in their roles. Women who are depressed go down for periods of time and lose touch with themselves. And, living in physical chaos created by dumping the belongings of a deceased relative in your space can do the same thing.

The tricky thing about trying to get your life back when your house is loaded with memorabilia, furniture and other stuff from family members is that in order to deal with it you are likely to be taking a trip back in time. The reason so much of that old stuff stays stuck where it landed when pulled off the U-Haul is that a part of you is resisting feeling the feelings that could surface when you go through the boxes and move the furniture.

Items hold the energy of the person to whom they belonged or the energy of a particular time in your life. Their energy comes from the story they have to tell. Items whose stories mean nothing to you are easy to part with. Those that bring pictures from your past into your mind are loaded and can elicit strong emotions! It’s anticipation of feeling those strong feelings, particularly sadness and loss, that will keep you too busy to do anything with all that stuff.

If you want to “get your life back”, find a way to address the influx of old stuff as soon after it arrives as possible, before it becomes a physical block to getting on with your life. The first step is to decide what you want to incorporate into your home. Keep only those things you truly love or will use. It’s OK to get rid of old stuff. Really!

Pass unwanted items to other family members, donate or sell them. If you have difficulty getting started on the sorting process or making decisions about what to keep and what to move along, get help either from a sensitive friend, family member or professional organizer. Why prolong the agony? Take the first step. There is relief on the other side of any sadness you may encounter.

Frame Your Best Memorabilia

Are you sentimental? Is your home filled with lots of items that remind you of past events and people who are important to you? I call that stuff memorabilia. And, the sentimental folks have the greatest quantity of it.

Did you know that the more stuff you have from your past, the more you’ll stay anchored in the energy of the past? Perhaps that wouldn’t be so bad if your past was perfect and you had everything you wanted or needed. But, most people have checkered pasts filled with both positive and negative circumstances and memories.

Feng shui teaches that everything is alive with energy. And, any energy will attract more of the same. If in your past you experienced difficulties, losses, and failures, it’s likely that some of the memorabilia you have will hold some of those energies. If you keep those items, you’ve more likely to attract more difficulties, losses and failures. Do you really want to attract more struggle and pain?

Most people I work with don’t know that memorabilia can anchor old energies. Once you become conscious that items hold the energies of the time they are associated with, you can begin to deliberately choose those things that hold the best energies of the past, energies that can enhance your future.

For example, perhaps school was always a challenge for you. Those difficulties are reflected in your report cards. Not only do they display poor grades, but they also hold negative teacher comments in place. Keeping those report cards and rereading them could anchor the energy of struggle with learning or struggle with teachers.

If, on the other hand, you were great at art, drama or music, why not pitch the report cards and anchor the energy of your school years with pieces of your art, photos of you on stage or CDs or videos of your choral group. That way the energy from the past that you’re holding onto is positive, celebrating your successes. Success energies are likely to attract more success.

I’m convinced that part of the reason people leave much of their memorabilia tucked in boxes in the attic is that they are intuitively avoiding facing the negative energies that all unsorted memorabilia holds. Unconsciously they know that if they pop those boxes open they’ll not only run into good memories, but they’ll also confront painful memories. Rather than take a trip back down the rocky road of memory lane, they leave the mixed bag of those accumulated energies untouched, often for decades. If those items are so precious, why are they tucked away in spaces where they are likely to be freezing in the winter and burning up in the summer?

No one has a perfect childhood. Just looking back at old items will bring back both good and bad memories. There is no way to avoid that happening, but you can clear out those items that have obvious negative associations, those that anchor pain. That way your memorabilia will hold the best energies from the past. When it does, you will want to make that memorabilia more accessible and it will attract more good into your life.