Mom and Me

It seems a current theme in my life is grief and letting go. My mother’s cognitive functions are slowly deteriorating due to dementia. I’m losing my competent, energetic Mom bit by bit. I recently was right in the middle of helping her transition to assisted living, dealing with her grief about leaving her beloved home, the place where she had so many happy memories with John, the love of her life. And, then I had to clear out her house, take apart the remains of her life piece by piece. I encountered lots of sadness along the way, and grief underlies so many of my interactions with her these days.

Because I am trained as a counselor and have had plenty of counseling on my journey, I recognize grief when I’m in it, and know that allowing it and moving through it is the most beneficial route for me. But, most people don’t have the benefit of the kind of knowing I’ve acquired over the years of counseling training and my own therapy. In the clutter clearing process grief can be one of those barriers that can paralyze a person despite their best of intentions to complete a clutter clearing project. Uncomfortable feelings of sadness, loss, and even anger can totally derail the clutter clearing process.

I recently learned of a paper clutter clearing victory by a client who ran into papers associated with his deceased mother. Despite the sadness he encountered he persevered. When he ran into the grief he noticed it, acknowledged it and kept going. It probably helped that he had made a commitment to me, his coach, to clear those papers. He had a compelling need to show me what he could do. But, I think the real reason he was able to keep going was because he noticed the grief, allowed himself to feel it, but chose not to pull the entire scab of his sadness off his wound. Instead he acknowledged it and kept moving.

That’s how I got my mother’s house cleared out. I didn’t want that pain to go on and on. I shed tears, recovered, and moved on. I shed some more tears, recovered and moved on. By the way, I was able to allow my grief, manage it and move on not only because I understand the grieving process, but also because I had the loving support of my husband. Emotional support is an essential ingredient in the grieving process.

I suspect that some people are not aware that they can manage the grief they encounter. They don’t realize that they have choices about how they respond to it. They can run into uncomfortable feelings, stop and flee from them, leaving the wound intact and keeping themselves stuck. They can run into those feelings, identify them as grief, feel them and sink into despair and depression, again stopping their possible progress. Or they can encounter sadness, allow it, and view it as an opportunity to release some pain that they carry with them. By doing that they have the chance to let go of the negative energy of feelings that really don’t serve them, that may be keeping them stuck or limiting their personal or professional growth.

The next time you get stuck when clutter clearing, ask yourself, “Is this grief? Did I run into some feelings that were uncomfortable?” If so, take a deep breath and remember that you have a choice. You can run or you can allow the feelings. You can choose to immerse yourself in them and stop or feel them for a short while, recover and move on. Grief can stop you or be a real opportunity for healing, growth and forward progress.

When I greeted my client today and asked how she was doing she told me she was OK. . . . . In other words she wasn’t really OK. When I inquired further she told me she hadn’t had much to eat today, that she felt tired. We talked about how to proceed with our clutter clearing project, given how she was feeling. Once we’d agreed on our approach and focus we got to work.

This client is a busy inner-city elementary school principal. She is very capable and it’s not unusual that she presents at our sessions as tired and stressed. What was unusual was her admitting that she didn’t feel well. I kept that in mind as I worked with her. About 30 minutes before the end of our two hour session she complained about feeling hot and was not experiencing a hot flash. She decided that a snack might help her feel better, and rather than snack while we continued to work, she chose to take a break and eat a yogurt and drink some water in an adjoining conference room. It was VERY unusual for this client to stop working altogether because she is all about getting things done. Clearly something was not right!

For the next 10 minutes I worked independently to help move her along despite her need to stop. When I got to a point that I could not proceed without her input I joined her in the next room. There we talked about her symptoms and the possible causes of her discomfort: dehydration, a blood pressure drop, a reaction to food she had at lunch, and a blood sugar drop. When I informed her that you can become dehydrated after 15 minutes of concentrated work, she drank several additional bottles of water. The more water she drank, the more she perked up and she eventually felt much better.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because her behavior reminded me that self-care is an important part of successful clutter clearing. Following are several ways you can ensure that you arrive at that challenge as your best, most empowered self:

• Be well rested.
• Make sure you have good fuel for your brain–preferably some protein and fresh fruits or vegetables. Avoid simple carbohydrates like sugar and wheat-based products.
• Be well hydrated and plan to sip water while you work to avoid dehydration.

Your body and your brain are tools that need to be in the best possible shape to tackle the challenging process of decision-making involved in clutter clearing. If your body or your brain shut down, you must stop. Make attending to your physical self-care a priority any time you plan to clear clutter.

In 2012 I decided to prove that intentional clutter clearing changes lives. Intentional clutter clearing is clutter clearing with specific goals in mind. I offered three women who wanted positive change in their lives two hours of my clutter clearing services per month at no cost to them. All they had to do was make the time for us to work together. Dale is one of those women. As it turned out Dale and I only did hands-on clutter clearing for nine months of the year. We also did two months of coaching. What follows is her summary of the results of that experience.

It is in my experience that clearing clutter is not like a “Ka-Pow”! It is positive change that occurs slowly, when taking the time to make decisions about STUFF, stuff that accumulates, stuff that takes up valuable space, stuff that clutters the mind and makes it pause because of indecision.

My experience this year with clearing clutter with assistance and guidance from Debbie Bowie wasn’t always pleasant. It is unnerving at times to give away, throw away, make decisions about my stuff. Especially being an artist who gives “new life to discarded items,” I was always afraid that I would be able to “use that” sometime. This could include um-teen yogurt containers, scraps of fabric (ugly fabric), cardboard boxes, etc. BUT, the up side is: I feel as though I can think better! Or clearer. I don’t think I have ADHD, but, before all my clutter clearing efforts it sure felt like it at times; wandering through my space with intentions, only to be interrupted by other thoughts and things that had to be done. Clutter really doesn’t help that syndrome! I hadn’t developed a habit of putting things away after I had used them.

I enter my uncluttered house now. It is not spotless, but I have gotten rid of things that I hated, like the 10 year old wool rug that every pet of mine had some kind of internal express onto. HATED IT, yet I didn’t feel as though I had the means to replace it. I still don’t have a rug (I have been looking), but I don’t hate the beautiful wooden floor. As a matter of fact, I am quite fond of it. I hated my cheap white dinnerware, but again I didn’t think that I had the inclination or the means to buy something different. I gave it away, and within the same week a friend who was moving gifted me with a pretty set of white dinnerware that I liked.

Because of my clutter clearing, I have gotten more “mindful.” I take care in the placement of things, aesthetically. You would think being an artist that aesthetics would always be priority, but my priority was sometimes just finding a spot to put something without recognizing the perfect visual spot. Placing things has become an art that I enjoy.
How my life has changed. It’s always difficult to recognize a slow change, but I feel calmer. Even in the midst of chaos, my stress level is definitely lower. I am enjoying my own company. I felt “on the go” a lot before making a commitment to clutter clearing. Now, I can sit quietly in my space and feel comfortable. My creativity is in transition. I have been rather void of creativity for the past year. Although slow in coming, it is coming back!

I find I I don’t want to be stretched so thin. I want to make more time for making things…is it art? I am doing more cultural things (previously stressed about doing because of money). I am more genuine with my relationships, making time for those I really care about, editing relationships that don’t feed me. I have developed a habit of putting things away, picking up as I go, and I always have a Goodwill pile at the front door. It thrills me to make things tidy and pleasing to look at. I had the courage to replace my kitchen faucet, and in the process cleaned out under the sink!

I think a short conclusion could be that I am aware…aware of most everything I do, hear, see, taste. It’s an exquisite way to reap pleasure from every day living.

You may have noticed that I’ve been missing from action the past few weeks. I have been caught up in the challenging and complicated process of helping my mother transition from independent living to assisted living. I’m back now, and want to share some of what I’ve learned from that process.

This past month was a very difficult time because of a decline in my mother’s cognitive and physical functioning. It became clear to me that Mom was no longer safe living alone. It was time to help Mom transition to assisted living. I knew this time would come, but I dreaded it because I knew my mother would resist that option with all her might. To make things really challenging, Mom has dementia that made it difficult for her to be aware of the full extent of her decline and unable to remember the various incidences, like falls and running into her garage door with her car, that indicate that she needed more help.

Last week Mom moved to an assisted living facility for a 30 day trial that I hope will extend to the rest of her life. Getting to this point in a loving way has been as complicated a challenge as anything I have ever done. But, the difficult times always provide numerous opportunities for learning, healing and growth. Here are some of the things I’ve learned. I share these with you in hopes that they will be of benefit to you if you need them at some point on your journey, or that you will pass them on to others who might benefit from them.

Focus on the benefits of the change instead of the reasons why the change must happen.

Because of dementia and pride in her independence, Mom was unable to self-assess and reach a conclusion that she needed more help. Pointing out aspects of her decline only made her more defensive and determined to convince me she was still in good shape. When I shifted to telling her what she could enjoy in the new setting, like having much more time with me, being able to try many different restaurants, having adventures like going to the Pet Expo, and visiting with old friends, her defensiveness dropped and she began to imagine the possibility of a new life that might have more access to people and activities that matter to her.

Focus on what you love about the person and keeping her safe instead of on changing the behaviors that scare you, bother you, or want to make you run away.

Mom repeated how much she loved where she lived and that she didn’t want to leave. She stubbornly resisted using a cane. She kept forgetting why she could no longer drive a car. She put plastic dishes in the oven even after being told it isn’t safe. Initially I felt annoyed and scared by those behaviors, but fussing at her only put me at odds with her and didn’t change her behavior. So, I reminded myself that the behaviors were happening because of the effects of the dementia and her fear of change. Each time I responded to her I reminded myself to come from a loving place and remember that I cannot change her behavior. I then looked for what I could do that would be helpful in the moment. When Mom said she didn’t want to leave her home, I agreed that leaving her beautiful home with it’s privacy and beautiful water view would be difficult, that change is hard, but that change can bring other new, wonderful opportunities into her life. When she forgot why she couldn’t drive, I described the five incidents that led to her decision to give her keys to me. When it was clear that she couldn’t remember how to use the microwave and couldn’t remember not to use the oven for plastic dishes, against her objections I arranged for a Visiting Angel to come in the evening to heat up her dinner.

Focus on the facts, not the feelings.

I felt scared that Mom could fall, break a hip, and end up in a nursing home–her worst nightmare. I felt angry that she stubbornly asserted that she was OK when clearly she was not. I felt sad that I was losing her to dementia, and mad that I was having to deal with such a sad, difficult situation with someone I love so much. But, I quickly learned that when I communicated with Mom from the vulnerable place of my feelings, out of fear or anger, I was met with debate, resistance, and her feelings of outrage and anger. When I began calmly stating facts about her car accidents, about the changes in her mobility like balance problems and difficulty getting in and out of her car, facts that could not be disputed, not only was I able to better manage my myriad of feelings, but Mom had nothing to push back against. Feelings can be questioned, blown off, and misinterpreted. Facts are facts.

Keep moving forward even if you don’t know where you’ll end up or how you’ll get there.

I knew Mom would find assisted living facilities unappealing, but I took her to see two of them. During the visits she kept asserting that she was going to continue to live in her home. But in the process I learned that she did like one of the people who gave us a tour. That was a positive anchor in this difficult situation. In further communication with him I learned that there was an apartment located on the ground floor near the dining room and mailboxes, a location that would make it easy for Mom to find her way to those important places. It seemed like the perfect place for Mom who can become very disoriented when in unfamiliar environments.

I also spoke to my dad, my mother’s ex-husband of over 30 years, and shared my concerns and ideas about how to help Mom. He offered to speak with her if I thought it would help. Since they have stayed friendly over the years, and he’s a doctor whose opinion she might respect more than mine, I took him up on his offer. At age 84 he drove eleven hours to meet with Mom. During his visit with Mom he came up with the idea of doing a one month trial in an assisted living facility to see if it’s something she might enjoy. He also suggested leaving her home as is in case she decides that she doesn’t like the change. His option of a trial stay instead of a permanent move was what it took to shift Mom from refusing ti move into an assisted living facility to being willing to give it a try. When I asked for Dad’s help, I had no idea that he would come up with the idea that would break through Mom’s wall of resistance.

I gave up thinking I had to know and see the whole path to Mom’s journey to a safer place, and instead read the signals each step of the way, making the best decisions I could from a loving place. Movement in a positive direction begat more movement.

You may be thinking, “What does this have to do with clutter clearing?”

• If you focus on the benefits of clutter clearing instead of the enormity of the project or how ashamed you are that things have gotten so out of control, you’ll find you are motivated to tackle your clutter challenge instead of feeling overwhelmed by the challenge.
• If you focus on your strengths and what you love about your gifts and abilities, you’ll boost your confidence and seek solutions instead of focusing on aspects of the project that seem impossible to address.
• If you focus on facts like, “Is this in good condition?” or “Do I love this or use this?” instead of feelings of annoyance because your family has contributed to your clutter problems, or sadness, embarrassment and shame about once again finding yourself having to dig out from under your clutter, you’ll be able to keep moving instead of shutting down.
• If you make yourself keep moving when you run into an emotional or decision-making roadblock by shifting focus to an easier task or asking for help, you’ll get the clutter clearing done.

Helping aging parents transition to a safer way of living and clutter clearing are both processes. Each has its challenges and opportunities. I hope you’ll find the principles I’ve shared to be helpful guidelines on your journey.

Yesterday I reorganized my bookshelves. It was a Saturday morning following two days spent with my mom who has dementia. So what does reorganizing books have to do with dementia? Mom’s condition and needing to make arrangements for assisted living for her despite objections from her and another family member had left me feeling powerless, exhausted, frustrated, angry and sad. Long ago I learned that when I am stressed by uncomfortable feelings, I can calm myself by organizing my space and purging unwanted and unnecessary items.

My husband had gifted me a Kindle for Christmas–which means I don’t have to have so many books in physical form. And, I had been staring at a congested bookshelf from my TV watching chair in the family room. Add in the angst of family struggles, and I was all fired up to clear out books I’d had on those shelves forever without cracking them open. I couldn’t control how other family members think and act, but I could make decisions about those books and create a new order.

I first got real about the novels I intend to read. When I read for pleasure I want to read stories set in places I love. I also prefer to read stories about the personal relationships, not death, war, murder or intrigue. So, I let go all books whose stories were set in parts of the world that don’t interest me, and tossed books that had violent story lines.

Next I set aside books for my husband to check out. He has had a Kindle for over a year and rarely reads a paperback or hardback book. Removing all those books made room for me to be able to rearrange the remaining books.

I ended up with a small collection of novels I feel sure I’ll read. And, there was a small shelf of spiritual/inspirational books that still speak to me. I also kept all the books I know that matter to Bob; professional books, books from childhood, reference books on home repair, and a few odd books on various topics. What gave me great pleasure was to be able to group all my gardening books front and center. When I was done there was a pile of books for Bob to review, two bags of books by the door to go to Goodwill, and a few books to go back to my office.

When I took the books back to my office I found I was motivated to go through all the books in that room as well. Only weeks before I had lamented that I had no room for more books there because I couldn’t bear to part with any of the books on the shelves. But, newly motivated by my success in the family room, I reviewed all the books collected there. To my surprise I found that there were books that could be purged. Others could be moved to the family room shelves. Again I was left with space. And, I was motivated to reorganize the books according to my current priorities.

My bookshelf clearing adventure reminded me once again that all it takes to get me psyched about completing a clutter clearing job is to move the first few items. I immediately felt pleasure once books started moving off the shelves. When they were just sitting there collecting dust, they seemed like an immovable wall. Very quickly I was able to see space and get clarity by clumping books of like type–novels, spiritual books, books on feng shui, etc. And, when I was done clearing and reorganizing the bookshelves in both rooms I felt so much calmer and grounded.

When Bob later went through his books a few were kept and three more bags of books were taken to the front door and then out to my car for donation. I felt so much lighter, and somehow richer. The books that remained on the shelves felt like gold to me, the best of the best. Now when I need a book I’ll be able to go right to it. And, the view from my TV watching chair is really nice!

P.S. It was so much easier to tackle the job of writing several difficult emails regarding my mom and her care once the bookshelves were clear and reorganized!

When I decorate for Christmas I’m always looking for items I no longer love. This year I put one roll of ribbon, two seasonal wreaths and one ornament in the donate bag. This practice over the last five years has resulted in me reducing the number of boxes that come out of my attic from about 10 to just 3. Decorating is a much less overwhelming task these days! What surprised me this year is that once I started decorating my urge to purge went beyond my Christmas decorations.

As I looked around my living room I found myself feeling bothered by a plant that had grown so big that it felt like a green invader rather than a green asset. I was also ready to be done with two other plants that had needed repotting years ago, whose growth was out of control and ungainly. I tossed them in the trash and added their pots to the donation pile. I relocated the green invader to another room and tossed the corn plant that had been in the green invader’s new home. As I worked to make the plant adjustments I realized I was really craving more simplicity in my living room, less stuff, nothing that felt out of control. When I finished clearing plants and decorating I felt such peace, such relief.

Earlier this fall I set an intention to have more space in my life next year, for rest, reflection and writing. It seems my Christmas decorating was just the catalyst I needed to make my space mirror my intention. Because what I have in my space affects what happens in my life, I’m expecting to have the space I am seeking. I’ve laid the physical foundation. I’m ready for the change I am seeking!

It’s never too soon to start planning for the holidays. Those who wait until the last moment to shop, wrap, do cards, bake, etc. usually find themselves up late Christmas eve and worn out by the time the big day arrives. Did you know that with a little planning you can have a very different sort of holiday season?

Here are a few suggestions to get you rolling:

1. Decide whether or not you’ll send cards this year. If you want to be sure you get them out before February, buy your cards and stamps, write your Christmas letter and print your photo cards NOW. Then, schedule a weekend day in the next few weeks to do your cards. Put on some Christmas music. Make a festive beverage, and make doing your cards a pleasurable opportunity to connect with friends and family members. Set a goal to put the cards in the mail the day after Thanksgiving. Once your cards are out, you’ll have one weight off your shoulders.
2. Clear out Christmas decorations that either never get used or that are a hassle to to use. It’s the start of simplifying your decorating process so that it takes less time and can be more pleasurable to do. Decoration clearing can be done right now–before you get caught up in all the activities of the season.
3. Make decorating a fun event. Schedule a date to put up Christmas decorations now. Pick a weekend day to do it. That will give you a deadline to get any necessary supplies. Make decorating a fun, memorable event instead of just one more “have to” on your list of too much to do. Put on the Christmas music. Make cookies to munch, and have hot cider or hot chocolate while decorating. Include children in the process if they are interested or invite friends for a tree decorating party and a shared meal.
4. Simplify gift giving by reducing the number of gifts you give and by giving lots of gift cards. You can reduce the time spent wrapping if you give gift cards because they can be slipped into a pretty card or a Christmas bag. Gift cards allow people to enjoy holiday cheer after the holidays when they use their cards to get things they really want and need. Wrap gifts as you purchase them or schedule parts of weekend days before the last week before Christmas as decorating times. Again, listen to music you love. Fix yourself a warm beverage and reflect on Christmases gone by as you wrap. If you leave gift buying and gift giving to the last moment, you’re setting yourself up for a stressful, exhausting and exhausted holiday. Do it different this year!
5. Limit socializing to a few events with people who matter the most. Saying no to invitations for events that don’t interest you is one way to ensure that what you do will be pleasurable and will free up time to do holiday activities that feed you instead of drain you.

Make this holiday season the kind of celebration that you really want. You get to decide how much or how little you do. Start now by thinking about what it would take to have a season of joy and fun instead of a season of too much to do.

© 2012 Clutter Clearing Community | Debbie Bowie

“Author, Organizing Expert and Feng Shui Practitioner, Debbie Bowie, is a leading authority on clutter clearing to attract more of what you want in life. If you’re ready to clear clutter and move your life forward, get your FREE TIP SHEET, “Feng Shui Tips for Instant Success” at http://www.clutterclearingcommunity.com.

When you feed your soul with what it really needs, you may find that your grip on your stuff loosens. What is it you really need? I need time alone to write, ponder, feel gratitude and noodle about aspects in my life. I need some time out in nature every day. I need opportunities to be creative–in my work, my writing, and in arranging space. I also need opportunities for learning. That’s just a beginning. What is your soul hungering for? Feed it!

© 2012 Clutter Clearing Community | Debbie Bowie

“Author, Organizing Expert and Feng Shui Practitioner, Debbie Bowie, is a leading authority on clutter clearing to attract more of what you want in life. If you’re ready to clear clutter and move your life forward, get your FREE TIP SHEET, “Feng Shui Tips for Instant Success” at http://www.clutterclearingcommunity.com.

A Clutter Clearing Victory!

My weekend plans were changed by a car problem. As a result, I was blessed with most of one day to do whatever I wanted. I could have done some writing. Or, I could have finished some tasks I couldn’t get to last week. Instead I chose to tackle the attic. Why? Because it was the first cool day when I had some time to work up there. And, the attic holds the energy of my hopes and aspirations. I have some compelling wants right now. I figured I could use all the positive energy I could get!

My attic is smaller than most, due to the pitch of our hip roof, and it can get congested very quickly. In the hot summer months it’s much easier to just drop items at the top of the pull down stairs instead of putting them where they really belong. So, my attic was a jumbled mess of negative energy. What a blessing to get most of a day to tackle that hot spot! Now I have a collection of items at the front door, including two bags of shredded supporting documents from our 2005 taxes. And, I have a neat, organized attic! Wonderful!

The next time you’re gifted with an unexpected block of time, consider it a clutter clearing opportunity. What will you clear?

© 2012 Clutter Clearing Community | Debbie Bowie

“Author, Organizing Expert and Feng Shui Practitioner, Debbie Bowie, is a leading authority on clutter clearing to attract more of what you want in life. If you’re ready to clear clutter and move your life forward, get your FREE TIP SHEET, “Feng Shui Tips for Instant Success” at http://www.clutterclearingcommunity.com.

Clutter clearing overwhelm. We’ve all been there. We have the best of intentions about tackling clutter in some part of our lives. We even make the time to address it. And, when we face the challenge, we freeze. For some it’s the enormity of the task at hand that shuts them down. For others it’s not knowing where to start. And, for others it’s not knowing what to do. Whatever the reason, clutter clearing overwhelm is a challenge for even the most motivated of us.

In this article I’m going to share guidelines for managing clutter clearing overwhelm that I intuitively developed in my early days working as a professional organizer. I had to figure out how to make progress despite feeling overwhelmed by the negative energy of clutter. After all, I was being paid to do just that! Here’s what I learned and what I recommend you do.

1. Don’t start with paper. Paper has a loud, irritating, noisy energy that draws you to it. You will feel the urge to address the paper first. Resist the urge! Why? If you start with paper, you’ll quit! Paper is the hardest thing to clear. It’s one of the most boring things to clear. And, it takes forever to see and feel positive results from your efforts. If you have lots of paper distracting you from getting anything else done, gather it up into piles (without reading it), bags and boxes, and set it aside to deal with at the end of the clearing process.
2. Don’t start with little stuff. By little stuff, I mean toy parts, paper clips, buttons, jewelry, small pieces of paper, buttons, etc. Because, like paper, it can have a distracting negative energy, gather it up into a pile, basket or box and set it aside to deal with at the end of the clearing process.
3. Start with big stuff. The best place to start is with the BIG STUFF. Why? If you start clearing out big things like cardboard packing boxes, furniture, even books, you’ll be able to both feel and see appreciable results for your efforts. You’ll be creating big shifts in energy from negative to positive that will energize and motivate you to keep going.
4. Start with what’s easy. What can you get rid of without even a twinge of indecision or regret? For me it’s packing boxes, magazines, books I’ve read, and clothes. But, I’d have a hard time getting rid of photographs and prints of dogs, original art that I love, and beautiful ceramic dishes that hold special memories. When you’re looking for big things to get rid of, choose a category that is easy for you to pitch, a category that doesn’t have your heart attached to it.
5. Don’t look at the forest. As you work, if you focus on the forest, the entire task at hand, you’ll be assaulted by thoughts like, “I’ll never get this done. There’s so much to do. It will take FOREVER!!!!” Those thoughts will send you straight to the sofa or the door. Instead, choose big things to clear and keep your head down while you work. From time to time give the big picture a quick glance, but only to decide where to go next. Don’t look at the entire task for more than a few seconds at a time or you’ll be hooked into self-defeating thoughts that will shut you down.
6. Choose positive self-talk. As you work, no matter how onerous the task, keep encouraging yourself with self-talk like, “I’m making progress. I can do this. I’ve gotten further than ever before. I deserve to live in a clutter-free environment.” Feeding yourself positive statements is like putting gas in an engine. It’s fuel for perserverence and success.
7. Silence self-defeating messages and self-criticism. Watch your thoughts as you work. Catch the negative self-talk that may be as automatic as breathing. When I work with clients, I’m privy to some of those conversations. I hear, “It’s going to take forever to get this done. I don’t think I can stand this. There are just too many decisions to make. I’m too tired. I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this. It’s not worth the time and effort.”
8. Celebrate any progress. If you only spend five minutes grabbing a few items from your closet to donate to Viet Nam Veterans of America when they drop off a yellow bag for donations, take a moment to savor how good it feels to let go of items you no longer love or want to use. Any progress is worth celebrating because it results in shifts of energy from negative to positive. Instead of doing what many people do, which is to focus on how much more there is to do, focus on the benefit of what you’ve done. What you focus on you attract! Wouldn’t you rather attract more clearing instead of more clutter?
9. Refuse to quit. Don’t let feeling overwhelmed stop you. Those feelings will come up. They are a normal part of the clutter clearing process. When they do, stop. Acknowledge them. Take a deep breath. Identify what shut you down. Adjust your course to working on something bigger or easier. Begin again. Don’t let the overwhelm win!

This is what works for me. Give it a try! If you find it works, great! If you discover new ways to manage your overwhelm, please share them with me so I can pass them on to others. Together we can win the war against clutter in our lives! Remember, clear clutter for good℠! Your good, the good of your family and the good of your community!

© 2012 Clutter Clearing Community | Debbie Bowie

“Author, Organizing Expert and Feng Shui Practitioner, Debbie Bowie, is a leading authority on clutter clearing to attract more of what you want in life. If you’re ready to clear clutter and move your life forward, get your FREE TIP SHEET, “Feng Shui Tips for Instant Success” at http://www.clutterclearingcommunity.com.