Papers and objects can hold associations with times of loss in our lives. A divorce decree, a gift from a lost love, equipment associated with a former career. They all hold energies of loss and sadness. Those negative energies are VERY powerful even if you’re not conscious of them. They can keep people from venturing into a closet or clearing out a desk for years. You’re not sure why you can’t face the task, but the urge to avoid it is very compelling.

If you’re avoiding a particular organizing challenge, check the content of the stuff to see if the items hold old associations of loss that are connected to grief you have been carrying. If you can’t allow the grief to come up and out, find a gentle loving soul to be with you while you face the loss, someone who can be in the presence of sadness without discomfort or the need to fix your pain. Tell him or her the stories associated with the grief. That will lighten the emotional load your are carrying and will allow you to move forward.

“He’s very nervous about you coming,” Gail said as we were working in her house clearing clutter. She was talking about her boyfriend who had reluctantly agreed to accept a consultation with me as a gift. I wasn’t surprised by her comment. It’s very common for people to want help to reclaim peace and comfort in their physical spaces, but to be terrified about being seen.

Your house is an extension of yourself. It tells the truth about what’s going on in your life. If for awhile your life is a bit out of control because of stressors like illness, deaths of friends and family members, divorce, depression, having children or moving, the space often reflects the stress.

In this case I had been warned that the house had gotten pretty backed up with stuff. When I entered the home office, it really looked like a storeroom, boxes piled at least 5’ high in the center of the room, I asked my new client, “What’s in these boxes?” I was surprised that he knew exactly what was in those boxes. “They are things that belonged to my mother and sister.” With a little probing I learned that those women had died seven and four years ago. The boxes had taken up residence in that room following their deaths.

You may be amazed that nothing had been done with those boxes for so many years. Why wouldn’t he have felt compelled to dismantle the box pile that was blocking access to his desk, bookshelf and keyboard? And, this man is a musician for whom music is a passion! What would stop him dead in his tracks? Grief.

As we worked and talked I learned that this man’s relationship with both his mother and sister had been problematic, painful, even scary at times. His family was affected by the insanity of alcoholism, a disease that infects every family member. So, what’s that got to do with the items in those boxes? Items owned by a person hold that person’s energy. A deceased person may be physically gone, but their belongings hold their energy. It is quite common to be assaulted by old memories when you encounter things associated with a particular person. Intuitively my client knew that if he opened those boxes he was going back in time. He was probably not conscious that his avoidance of opening those boxes was fueled by a reluctance to face old memories, old sadness and loss. But, the pain of those memories held in place by the objects kept him stuck for years.

What objects in your space hold sadness in place, blocking you from moving forward with your life? Check out those areas that you have been neglecting. Is there an emotional block keeping you stuck? Getting conscious of a painful association is the first step. Bring it to consciousness so you can let it go and move on.