I got my organizing gene from my mom. She was highly organized and ran a tight ship when I was growing up. Not only was I blessed with her organizing gene, but I also had a skilled model for getting and staying organized. She was always restoring order in our home where I lived with my parents and two brothers.

So, when I started noticing miscellaneous papers floating over the tops of three counters in her kitchen as well as her desk, I was at first curious, then alarmed. Something had changed. And, it wasn’t the quantity or type of paper that flowed into Mom’s house. When my step-father’s health declined and he eventually died, I finally felt I had permission to closely examine all those papers. Mom needed my help to manage her finances because her focus was on her husband and, I later discovered, because she really was not cognitively capable of doing so herself.

I had noticed my mother’s significant short term memory problems for some time, but I tried to explain it away as normal aging. My step-father’s health crisis made it very clear that Mom has dementia. During that difficult time she exhibited significant confusion, and it was obvious that she was unable to make decisions, cope in new environments and learn new things. The sea of papers was the most visible symptom of her cognitive decline in her home. Changes in her brain made it more and more difficult for her to make decisions about what to do with incoming mail and my step-father’s medical papers. Her way of not handling her papers was to drop them on an empty counter. Then she would look at them over and over again.

Mom’s sea of papers reminded me of what I so often find in the homes of clients who hire me to help them make peace with their papers, particularly those with ADHD. It is well known that those who have ADHD often have frontal lobe deficits. The frontal lobe is the area of the brain responsible for executive functions like short-term memory, decision-making and prioritization. I am guessing that Mom’s dementia has been affecting her frontal lobe for some time.

If you have always had difficulty managing paper, don’t leap to the conclusion that you have dementia. I share this information with you because you may know someone like my Mom who once was very competent at managing papers but who with age has become less capable of paper management. It could be an early sign of dementia. It’s easier to be helpful and loving with a person who is having difficulty with the details of life if you have some idea of a possible cause of the decline. Changes from previous levels of functioning are information you can use to determine the best way to be helpful to a beloved family member.

“I don’t know what I want,” said a new client in response to my question about her expectations for our feng shui organizing session. “I just knew I need to do something!” This client contacted me because she hated her house, which previously had been owned by her husband’s parents. And, she and her husband had been having significant health problems.

Over the next two hours we moved through the whole house while I made suggestions for improving the feng shui of the space. When we got to the last room, the guest room, I recommended that my client claim it as her own, to house her projects, books, her favorite art, anything that lifts her spirits. As is the case with many guest rooms, it had become a dumping spot for things associated with tasks that she didn’t want to do. At my urging we began the “Love It, Use It or Lose It” clutter clearing method to get her rolling on making the space her own. If she didn’t love or use an object, I recommended she lose it.

We cleared a significant number of books, discovered two beautiful silk paintings that had been buried behind linens, and unearthed her beading supplies. One bag held children’s clothing she had been given by a well-meaning family member that she’d been ignoring because she didn’t want it and felt she should. I gave her permission to release the clothing and anything else that had been given to her by others that she did not love and would not use. We also cleared out old papers associated with a past job and a past life. By clearing out stagnant items that no longer served her, we removed significant energy blocks.

As we worked, my client became more and more excited. When I left after two hours I had no doubt that she would continue to work to make her home feel more comfortable. However, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a call just two days later telling me that she’d been clearing ever since I left, and had cleared all but one closet in her home. She had been on a roll, and was so excited about her progress. She was especially thrilled that a friend who was visiting remarked, “Your house feels so light!” She was amazed that her friend could feel the energy shift she’d created despite the fact that all the clearing had occurred behind closed doors.

This client’s stagnant belongings were a barrier to her being able to make significant headway in the process of creating a home she could love. When she improved the energy in her closets by eliminating stagnant objects, things she no longer loved or used, she unknowingly improved the overall feel of her whole house. Everything is connected! And, better yet, the positive energy she created gave her the motivation to keep moving forward to improve the feel of her house. Her plans include painting significant parts of her home and removing several pieces of furniture that she hates.

Want to get your life moving? Want your house to feel lighter? See if you can find the energy blocks in your home. A good place to start is with anything you’ve been avoiding. Just tackle it one obstacle at a time. Then notice what opens up in your life!

How do you know when it’s time to get a new purse? When your dog eats it! Since I hate shopping I usually find myself shopping for a purse when my old purse is showing embarrassing signs of wear. But, most recently I was motivated by the fact that my dog, Oz, had expressed his boredom by chewing up my beloved purple purse!

So, when I made myself go to Kohl’s to search for the purple purse replacement, I was not really up for the task. Despite my attitude, I took my time locating just the right purse. As I made the rounds of the purse displays, I was acutely aware that being a feng shui practitioner and professional organizer has made me especially particular about the criteria for just the right purse. Over time I’ve learned what works for me, and settling for anything less is a setup for disorganization and daily irritation when I can’t find what I need when I need it.

Here are some features that do not work for me:

• deep, large purses–They hold too much stuff, and the deeper they are, the harder it is to see what is in them. They also weigh a ton because I tend to fill the space that’s available.
• zippers for closure–Zippers require added effort to get inside a purse. I knew I’d find that effort irritating. Besides, zippers break.
• purses with no inside dividers–I carry a variety of items in my purse, and it’s easier to find what I need if I have specific locations for things. One big area would become an annoying jumble of stuff in no time.
• purses with no outside pockets–I’ve learned that I enjoy easy access to high use items like my keys and cell phone. An outside pocket is perfect for that. When I don’t have one, there’s no telling where the phone will end up. Then I’ll be cursing as I miss calls while searching through all the items in an inside section.

Features that I have to have:

• medium size, but not too deep–This size is perfect to hold what I need to carry, but it won’t weigh a ton. And, it must be a depth where I can see everything at a glance.
• magnetic closure–This type of closure takes little effort both to open and close. And, it doesn’t break!
• two major sections with a zippered divider, a small zippered pocket on the back wall and an open pocket on the front wall–I use the front section for my wallet, change purse, business card holder and glasses case. The back section is for my small spiral notebook, pens pouch, pouch for earphones and cell phone charging wire, and pouch for occasional use items like special keys and nail clippers. The zippered divider is where I keep high dollar coupons for office supplies and restaurants and extra business cards. The zippered pocket on the back wall holds personal hygiene items like kleenex, a small brush, nail files and a small mirror. The open pocket on the front wall is used to hold lip balms and lipsticks.
• interior fabric that is any color except black or brown–Dark interiors transform purses into black holes and really reduce visibility.
• an appealing color–It is important that my purse be a color that does not clash with my coats and shoes. Its color also has to be dark enough so it won’t easily show dirt. I’m rough on a purse, tossing it into my not-so-clean car and dropping it on the floors of client houses. I never want a yellow or white purse that will look dirty in no time. And, the energy of the color has to be compatible with my current energy. I wanted a purse with a rich, vibrant color like the purple purse was destroyed by Oz. But, when I finally found all the necessary features in a purse, I had a choice between a light purple that was too flashy for me and a pleasant taupe, a nice earth tone. I chose the taupe because earth tones are very grounding, and given the recent challenges in my life, a grounding energy would work well.

Finding just the right purse took me about 45 minutes of searching and thinking and deciding what would work for me. When I left the store I wasn’t completely happy with the color of my new purse because I had wanted a color with more energy, but I chose to compromise on the color in favor of having the best size and internal design. The color is neutral and calming, something I can learn to like a lot.

My new purse may not be the color I wanted, but it’s design is actually better than my mutilated purse. It is not quite as deep as the purple purse, so I can now see everything inside much more easily. It seems that Oz did me a big favor!

When you go shopping for your next purse, it’s worth taking your time to find one whose design and appearance really work for you. Your purse is an extension of you. If it’s a jumble of disorganized stuff, you will not only waste precious time finding things when you need them, you will also be annoyed over and over again as you move through your days. That annoyance is a stressor that costs you vital energy.

By investing time and money in finding just the right purse, you will make an important statement to yourself and the Universe that getting and staying organized is a priority in every area of your life. Know that it may take several purses for you to find the features that matter most. But, when you finally figure it out, you will be amazed at how wonderful it feels to have a stress-free purse!

I couldn’t believe it! I’d stopped to get gas, had pumped the gas and then couldn’t find my keys. I’ve done that before, so I automatically searched the usual places: the car seat, between the seats, the passenger seat, the front pocket of my purse. No keys. I felt a flutter of panic that was quickly followed by the reprimand of a critical inner voice that was saying, “How could you lose your keys in such a small area!” Since that voice was not very helpful, I quickly switched to a problem-solving voice that instructed, “Just straighten up the inside of your car. The keys will show up when you can see more clearly.”

As I began to create more order inside my car, I had a little chuckle with myself when I thought about my options, one of which was to ask for help. Just imagining myself going into the gas station and telling the cashier that I’d lost my keys while pumping my gas really struck me as funny. It would be even funnier if I told the guy I make my living helping people clear clutter and get organized. I’m supposed to be an expert in not losing things!

When I organized my front seats, I found the remote for my car stereo which had gone missing about a month ago, a quarter, a rock, and a piece of jewelry that had been riding around with me for months on its way to the jeweler to be repaired. Still no keys.

Hmmmm. . . . time to take deep breaths, look in all the same places one more time and as a last resort, I thought back to what I’d been doing when I stopped the car. I’d been talking to my husband on the phone. The phone! Where did I put it? If I found the phone, I’d likely find the keys! Usually I put it in the front pocket of my purse, but I already knew the phone wasn’t there. Ok, if not in the front pocket, where else would I throw the phone without thinking? In the other pockets of the purse! Sure enough, I found the phone and the missing keys. Success!!!

Why do I take time to share this story with you? What are the lessons from this experience? First, I want you to know that I am just as human as you are. I too have moments when I take action unconsciously and misplace things. When I do, I am just as normal as the next person, at first castigating myself for my mistake and then momentarily panicking.

Second, I think losing my keys at the gas pump, when the keys couldn’t have gotten very far, is a hoot! Sometimes you just have to laugh at the absurdity of your situation. That humor helped calm me so I could finally get into the problem-solving mode that eventually led to finding the keys.

And, when I finally did find the keys, I had also located my missing stereo remote and the front seat of my car was neatly organized! When you lose something, it’s always an opportunity to get reorganized. The process of organizing creates clarity, making it possible to find things.

The next time you lose something, silence the critical voice that shouts out first. Have a good laugh. Then go into problem-solving mode and get better organized. By all means, resist the urge to tear your house or car or office apart in your hunt. If you do finally find your lost item, you then will be surrounded by a nightmare of your own making. Instead, laugh, problem-solve and organize! Remember, even professional organizers lose their keys!