Trophies: The New Yard Art

Trophies hold the energy of the accomplishments associated with them. Some people find it very hard to let go of trophies, even when they get old and ugly. I’ve recommended that clients reduce their quantity by only keeping only those that hold memories of the most significant achievements. I’ve suggested that clients take photos of their trophies and then discard them. But, today learned of a creative way to deal with the trophy dilemma.

Charlyne Meinhard, whose husband, died within this last year, was left with boxes of her husband’s chess trophies in her crawl space. The trophies had been awarded for chess victories in the years prior to starting a family and mark his having achieved a master’s level. They were prized possessions. Getting rid of them was never a question while her husband was alive. After his death, while in the process of regrouping after her loss, however, Charlyne unearthed the trophies and had a decision to make–keep the trophies or get rid of them.

Charlyne knew she didn’t want the trophies displayed in her home, but throwing them in the trash just didn’t seem right. They held the energy of her husband’s mastery in chess. They also held the energy of the early years of their marriage. She also knew her children might be upset if she got rid of them.

Her solution was to create a trophy garden. She carefully placed the trophies in the garden beside the driveway at the front of the house. That way she can see them when on her way in and out of the house. She told me that seeing them is a comfort to her. They remind her of her husband and make her smile. And, she told me,“They were a whole lot less expensive than other yard art!”

Charlyne also removed the engraved plates on the most significant trophies and plans to make bookmarks from them by attaching them to strips of fabric. They will become Christmas gifts for family members.

Got trophies? Transform them from a pile of junk into something that will hold only good energies of accomplishment and positive memories!

You might be wondering why a feng shui and clutter clearing expert is sponsoring a workshop about the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a system of personality that describes nine fundamentally different patterns of thinking, feeling and being in the world. Feng shui teaches that everything is connected. Your understanding of yourself and others affects the quality of your relationships. The quality of your relationships in turn affects your energy. Your energy affects how well you tend to the condition of your space. So, there really is a connection!

I was first exposed to the Enneagram by Fred Boykin and Jack Killen, friends who were looking for volunteers to work with when they were completing an Enneagram certification program. It was unsettling to learn that in Enneagram language I am a 1, a Perfectionist. However, when I read about the typical feelings, themes and approach to life of a Perfectionist, and compared it to descriptions of other types, it was clear that I am a 1. With that information I was able to come to a new level of self-acceptance. I also became more conscious about what I do and expect of myself and others and was able to slowly make changes in behavior that improved both the quality of my relationships and my life.

I tell people that the Enneagram helped save my marriage. My husband, Bob, and I are very different types. Learning about his type helped me better understand him and accept him as he is. It also helped me become more conscious of his gifts and learn to appreciate the unique person that he is.

One of the best things I learned from the Enneagram training is that the best thing that Perfectionists can do for themselves is to play hooky. If you are a 1, a Perfectionist, you know that playing hooky is rarely if ever an option. There is always something that must be done, fixed, tended to. Stopping is a major challenge for a 1. I was given permission to stop and allow things in my life to be less than perfect. I have a hunch that that one piece of information may help me extend my life by a few years!

If you are curious about your Enneagram type, I urge you to join us on November 12 for a day-long Introduction to the Enneagram. Fred and Jack are enthusiastic, experienced Enneagram trainers. You will leave the day with information that can open doors to self-understanding, self-acceptance and self-love. From that foundation it is possible to improve all your relationships.

For more information and to register for the Enneagram workshop, go to http://web.me.com/debbierocks/Site/Enneagram_Training.html or www.RockScissorsPaperInstitute.com. If you register by October 30, you will save $20!

What can happen when you don't put things away!

Are you a person who routinely puts things away when you’ve finished using them? Or, are you a person that uses something and leaves it where it landed when you were finished using it? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess which person would be most challenged with staying organized. Regularly putting things away as you move through your day is one of the most important behaviors necessary for staying organized.

 What is the benefit of putting things away?

• You restore visual order. An orderly space is peaceful and feels good. It has positive energy.
• You snuff out a bud of clutter. Anything left out of place immediately creates a negative energy that will attract more of the same. Once one thing is left out, it’s much easier to leave other things out.
• You’ll be able to find the item when you need it.
• You maintain order in your space and a sense of control in your life.

Why doesn’t a person put things away?

• You were never taught the habit of routinely putting things away. It is a habit to use something and leave it where you last used it. It is also a habit to use something and put it away!
• You have attentional issues that keep you bouncing from one task to another, leaving object litter in your wake.
• You haven’t created a home for the item. There is no place to put it away.
• The home you created is not convenient enough given how often you use the object.
• The home you created has become so cluttered that putting it away is a hassle.
• Putting things away seems boring to you.
• You are rushing and putting an item away will take time you don’t think you have.

I could go on and on with reasons why people don’t put things away. Whatever the reason, you pay a heavy price when you neglect to regularly put things away. Over time you create your own nightmare of clutter and chaos in your space.

Putting things away is a behavior over which you have complete control. It can take only seconds to do if you’ve created convenient homes for everything. Being faithful to the behavior requires self-discipline, but it is one of the best ways to stay organized and directly correlates with feeling in control in your life.

Watch yourself today. Are you taking those extra few seconds (yes, seconds, not minutes) to put things away when you are finished using them? Remember, your peace of mind, stress level, productivity and success are affected by what you choose to do. Make putting things away a priority every day! If regularly putting things away isn’t a habit, make it the next habit you acquire in your effort to stay organized, manage stress, and have the life you really want.

When you’re young your time is scheduled for you: school, playtime, doctor’s appointments, piano lessons, etc. When you become an adult some of your time may be scheduled for you, your work hours, for example. Even then you get to choose the kind of job you seek with its corresponding work hour requirements. And, you get to choose what you do with the rest of your time. Time is an important commodity in our lives, something that requires constantly making choices and deciding how best to use it.

Why is it, then, that many people feel compelled to regularly fill it completely with activities and obligations? Why is it so difficult to leave spaces for rest, for play, for spontaneous activities?

Could it be that you have not learned to accurately assess the time requirements of the activities you choose? Perhaps the ideal life that you seek takes more time to achieve than there are hours available day to day. Or, are you so programmed by our culture that rewards over-functioning even at the cost of family relationships and physical health that nothing less than being overcommitted all the time seems laudable?

Stop and think about how you spend your time. If you feel dissatisfied with the harried pace of your life and the paucity of pauses, playtime and rest, remember that you are in the driver’s seat of your life. You can’t control every time consuming demand that comes at you. But, I’ll bet you could excavate some “me” time from your busy schedule, time that has no agenda, if you work as hard at that task as you do at fulfilling all the obligations that eat your time.

It’s difficult to change when what you are doing is swimming upstream to cultural norms like busyness and workaholism. But, it can be done. The quality of your life depends on it!

PS If you schedule regular “me” time for rest and play, you’re likely to find you are more productive in the rest of your life!

After two very stressful days this week, including car trouble twice, two speeches to give, getting sick to my stomach during one of the speeches, and being greeted by four piles of dog poop in my office (sick dog) after the “getting sick” speech, I found myself clearing off my desk the morning of the third day. Why? Because my brain was mush after dealing with stressor after stressor in rapid succession, all the while maintaining my professionalism and respectful treatment of everyone who crossed my path, even the car repair guy I had to visit twice in two days.

I realize that clearing off a desk is a stressful activity for many people, but doing it helped me clear the residual mental crud from my head, the papers and other fallout from those two crazy days as well as get clear about my current priorities. Being in crisis mode required that I concentrate on the challenges of the moment and consequently, I had to temporarily disconnect from other aspects of my life. The process of clearing the desk clutter gave me the opportunity to bring my work and personal life back into focus. Because my desk is the repository of papers and other reminders of what is current in my life, reorganizing it and clearing its clutter is a task that immediately grounds me.

Is it time for you to clear your desk to get clear about your life and priorities? I highly recommend it for immediate grounding and stress reduction!