“He’s very nervous about you coming,” Gail said as we were working in her house clearing clutter. She was

Your house is an extension of yourself. It tells the truth about what’s going on in your life. If for awhile your life is a bit out of control because of stressors like illness, deaths of friends and family members, divorce, depression, having children or moving, the space often reflects the stress.

In this case I had been warned that the house had gotten pretty backed up with stuff. When I entered the home office, it really looked like a storeroom, boxes piled at least 5’ high in the center of the room, I asked my new client, “What’s in these boxes?” I was surprised that he knew exactly what was in those boxes. “They are things that belonged to my mother and sister.” With a little probing I learned that those women had died seven and four years ago. The boxes had taken up residence in that room following their deaths.

You may be amazed that nothing had been done with those boxes for so many years. Why wouldn’t he have felt compelled to dismantle the box pile that was blocking access to his desk, bookshelf and keyboard? And, this man is a musician for whom music is a passion! What would stop him dead in his tracks? Grief.

As we worked and talked I learned that this man’s relationship with both his mother and sister had been problematic, painful, even scary at times. His family was affected by the insanity of alcoholism, a disease that infects every family member. So, what’s that got to do with the items in those boxes? Items owned by a person hold that person’s energy. A deceased person may be physically gone, but their belongings hold their energy. It is quite common to be assaulted by old memories when you encounter things associated with a particular person. Intuitively my client knew that if he opened those boxes he was going back in time. He was probably not conscious that his avoidance of opening those boxes was fueled by a reluctance to face old memories, old sadness and loss. But, the pain of those memories held in place by the objects kept him stuck for years.

What objects in your space hold sadness in place, blocking you from moving forward with your life? Check out those areas that you have been neglecting. Is there an emotional block keeping you stuck? Getting conscious of a painful association is the first step. Bring it to consciousness so you can let it go and move on.

© 2012 Clutter Clearing Community | Debbie Bowie

“Author, Organizing Expert and Feng Shui Practitioner, Debbie Bowie, is a leading authority on clutter clearing to attract more of what you want in life. If you’re ready to clear clutter and move your life forward, get your FREE TIP SHEET, “Feng Shui Tips for Instant Success” at http://www.clutterclearingcommunity.com.

It’s quite common that as we change internally, we make changes to our person, our habits or our living spaces. Some people get a new hair style. Others grow a beard. Still others rearrange their furniture. Because everything is connected in our Universe, is it any wonder that we have a need to change things in our outer world when we are experiencing inner changes?

I recommend that you consider taking this idea one step further. Deliberately make changes to your home, office, habits or appearance to signal the Universe that you are open to positive change. Change the outside to affect inner changes.

When I’m feeling unsettled, stuck or wanting change in my life, I sometimes take a new route home or park in my husband’s parking space. Those small changes help me get out of my perceptual rut and see things differently. Recently when I was really wanting to jumpstart internal change I got rid of three pieces of living and dining room furniture, two of which had been in my family for over thirty-five years!

For those of you who are freaking out because I pitched precious belongings, relax! It was time to let that furniture go. I needed more space in my house to allow for personal expansion. Now someone else can benefit from those special items. I’m really done with them and ready to move into a new era of my life. Letting them go was a sign to the Universe and myself of my openness and commitment to change.

When you find yourself feeling unsettled, wanting something that you can’t quite envision, do a few things differently. Move some furniture, go with the urge to cut your hair, take a new route home. Let the Universe know that you’re open to change. Then pay attention to the opportunities that come your way. Remember, everything is connected. Positive changes to your behavior, appearance or space will cause internal shifts that ultimately could lead you to getting more of what you really want.

Have you noticed that errands accumulate? Why is that? I wonder if that happens because most of us know that running out to do one errand here and there is just not time effective. It really does make more sense to wait until we have several errands to do to justify taking time and spending gas to run errands.

How do you remember to do errands? My system is very rudimentary. I use items associated with the errand as visual reminders and put them in the front seat of my car (my office away from my home office). If I don’t have a reminder item, like a book or piece of paper, I write the errand on a sticky note and accumulate sticky notes on one piece of paper. That piece of paper goes to the front seat of my car. Whenever I get in the car I see the errand reminders that tell me what needs to be done. I’m all ready for when I’m gifted with a small chunk of time. I then check those reminders and do an errand or two. Not fancy, but it works for me!

It’s important to figure out your errand threshold–the number of errands that can accumulate without you feeling overwhelmed. When people feel overwhelmed they often avoid whatever is overwhelming them. Then you’re really in trouble! Why? Because accumulated errands have the same energy as clutter. And, clutter attracts more clutter! Each errand also consumes an attention unit in your brain. The errand may not even be important, but it still registers as something that needs to be done, thereby consuming some of your precious energy.

Got errand clutter? Schedule a clearing session and make yourself clear them out. You will find that you feel much lighter and brighter because you’ve both lightened your mental load and probably have also cleared some visual clutter. If you find yourself gifted with some unexpected free time, use it to clear some errands. It’s a sure fire way to lighten your load and gain more energy.

Last Sunday while I was doing my weekend writing and organizing so that I’d be ready for the challenges of this week, I was chomping at the bit to go pick up a piece of furniture for my dining room. Instead of heading out the door to get the marble topped dresser, I decided to use that task as a reward for finishing my writing and organizing. I chose to work first instead of doing what I really wanted to do. If I’d done the fun task first it would have been VERY difficult to come home and buckle down to work that required mental energy and focus.

Is there a difficult task that you’d really like to get done? Tax preparation, for example. Set a goal for what you’d like to get done. Then, find a reward that you can use as a motivator. The more difficult the task, the better the reward must be. Using a 15 minute walk around the block as the carrot on the stick to get you to attack the annoying and anxiety provoking task of tax preparation is not likely to motivate you to start the task much less complete it. What would motivate you? A night on the town with a loved one? Purchasing a new piece of software? You decide.

We all have a need for down time. We need time to do whatever we want to do–rest, read, play on the computer, visit friends, anything that is pleasurable and gives us a break from the many essential tasks of living. I have a hunch that if we don’t make enough time in our busy schedules to take a break, we find ways to take it anyway or we pay for not doing it by being only halfway present for essential tasks.

What may look like poor time management could really be an expression of insufficient down time. You fritter away an afternoon at work, spending more time than is necessary on email and surfing the web. You are exhausted and what you really need is a mental health day. Instead you show up and take the time anyway, procrastinating doing essential tasks, instead playing on the computer.

Imagine having worked for weeks with no quality down time. It’s time to put together an important proposal. How well are you going to be able to work? The part of you that is committed to your survival is going to wage war against the dutiful part of you. You may not procrastinate by wasting time, but it’s quite possible that you will only be able to attack the proposal with half the energy and focus that you would give to it if you were really rested. And, the proposal may get done, but its quality may be half what it could have been–the price you pay for not scheduling sufficient down time.

Have you heard the saying, “We teach first that which we must learn?” I’m writing about this challenge as much for me as for you! It’s time to make down time as essential as going to work!

Today I finally whole heartedly dove into planning the seminar I’ll be giving on February 12, entitled “Organizing for Productivity and Success.” I’d done some preliminary planning last weekend and during the week. As I usually do with something new and overwhelming, I chipped off small bites of the big project so I could get it to a size I could handle mentally and emotionally. Because I’d done that prep work, I was able to pin my butt to my chair and worked diligently on all aspects of the preparation–the slide show, the handouts, props, and the outline of the speech. When I finished I felt really good about my effort and my results. And, I felt good about me.

That got me thinking about procrastination. When you procrastinate, you put off doing something that needs to be done. You may be having a great time doing something else, but somewhere in your subconscious the task is nagging at you. With it there you are unable to fully relax, fully enjoy the present moment. And, you aren’t able to fully feel good about yourself. A part of you knows you are avoiding something important. That part can often be abusive. It sends you messages like, “What’s taking you so long to get started on _______?” “You always wait until the last minute and when you finally get going the results are just mediocre.” “What a slacker!”

Procrastination about those really important tasks, the ones that could launch you into a new career, that could free your energy to access your creativity, that could heal a rift with a significant person in your life, or that clear the decks for new adventures, costs you the most in terms of self-esteem. Likewise, when faced, those challenges bring the biggest rewards.

Are you procrastinating about an important task, one that could be life-changing? What is holding you back? Fear of success? Fear of failure? Fear of the unknown? Not doing the task is worse than doing it and struggling. Your efforts will feed your feelings of self-worth. Do it now as an act of self-love and as a commitment to ceasing self-destructive behaviors.

“I’m beginning to feel a little nauseous,” said Gloria. She and I were working in her finished attic, pulling bins of old photos and memorabilia out from under the eaves. I paused and wondered what was going on with her. In my experience, both as a recipient of counseling and observing people doing difficult emotional work, nausea can indicate that deep old feelings are attempting to come to the surface. The boxes we were touching held the story of several significant decades of her life, one that included great heartache and the pain of a broken marriage and difficult divorce. Yes, we were physically stirring the emotional waters of her history by accessing those boxes.

Once I told Gloria that I suspected that the nausea was her response to the difficult work we were about to embark on, we got started sorting through the photographs. As I do with all my clients, I started with the biggest, easiest chunks of photos and memorabilia first. Gloria was very ready to release cards from her ex-husband and photos of the two of them. It was time. She understood that holding on to them would only keep the sadness, anger and conflicting feelings in place, blocking her from moving forward to the possibility of having a relationship that could be different, more fun, respectful and life-affirming.

Before I left Gloria I warned her that it was quite possible that she would experience an emotional catharsis following our session because the work we had done had probably stirred up some deep feelings about the loss of her marriage. I encouraged her to allow the grief, to feel whatever came up and to resist the urge to medicate those feelings with food, activity, anything that she typically uses to shut down feelings.

The next time I saw Gloria she told me that she had continued to feel nauseated for several days and had indeed grieved. And, she was happy to report that while she allowed the grief she had had some important insights about her marriage, ones that were helping her move forward.

The next time you feel like you want to run from a clearing project, because of nausea, anxiety, fatigue or any other uncomfortable feeling, be still for a few moments. See if you can identify what is sending you running. If you stop and face it, even for a few moments, you’ll release energies that are holding you back. And, ultimately you’ll reclaim some of your personal power, power that was compromised by the strength of the emotions being held in place by your belongings.

Today I was listening to “Voices of Experience,” a CD produced by the National Speaker’s Association, and heard speaker Rowena Szeszeran-McEvoy share five action steps to get you feeling great. They are:

Smile!
Move more.
Eat less.
Eat more fruits and vegetables.
Drink more water.

Rowena believes that getting healthy doesn’t have to be complicated. If you follow her suggestions you’ll be feeling great in no time.

When you feel good physically, you’re more likely to do what needs to be done to get and stay organized. You don’t have to make major changes. But, you do need to be consistent with the changes you make.

Give it a try! And, let me know how Rowena’s prescription works for you and your efforts to get and stay organized.